in which new things are scary
Jan. 28th, 2012 11:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aamcnamaraI am a considerable way toward finishing this polish of A Returning Power. This morning, I have been contemplating query revisions.
And...well. It still all freaks me out. Kind of a lot. After ten years of "someday someone will pay me to write novels!" it's weird to find myself on the brink of taking that first step toward publication. (After "write the novel", that is.) I worry--what if no one wants to represent me? what if I can't tell who the Right Agent is? what if this kind of book just isn't selling right now? what if what if what if. There are so many things to worry about.
I know I'm decent at writing. I know this novel is the best that I can make it without waiting another year to get more distance (again), and that putting it away for a year is probably not a good choice. I also know that those things aren't enough.
I have always been the worst at not worrying about things when there is nothing I can do about them. All I can do, right now, is finish polishing the novel and finish polishing the query and sharpen up my synopsis and pick some agents, even if that means drawing names out of a hat, to send it out to. But I may need repeated kicks on the ankles to get that far.
And...well. It still all freaks me out. Kind of a lot. After ten years of "someday someone will pay me to write novels!" it's weird to find myself on the brink of taking that first step toward publication. (After "write the novel", that is.) I worry--what if no one wants to represent me? what if I can't tell who the Right Agent is? what if this kind of book just isn't selling right now? what if what if what if. There are so many things to worry about.
I know I'm decent at writing. I know this novel is the best that I can make it without waiting another year to get more distance (again), and that putting it away for a year is probably not a good choice. I also know that those things aren't enough.
I have always been the worst at not worrying about things when there is nothing I can do about them. All I can do, right now, is finish polishing the novel and finish polishing the query and sharpen up my synopsis and pick some agents, even if that means drawing names out of a hat, to send it out to. But I may need repeated kicks on the ankles to get that far.